I totally worship my husband, maybe that’s the issue. He is an amazing human and I can’t touch him since I’m this skanky idiot that is nowhere near worthy. Don’t mistake, I’m not in an abusive relationship, I’ve made myself feel this way all by myself.
My husband found a bottle last night that wasn’t even from last night – it’s old. But that doesn’t stop me feeling even more ashamed to the point that I cry, and cry, and fucking cry.
I needed all the power to fight my addiction, saving yourself is an egoistic process – you come first. There is nothing left for justifying your actions to your family. This can happen, later those feeling of worthlessness are typical. They are not true. Everybody is worth the same, and I am sure there is a wonderful person inside you, fighting the drinking devil. Otherwise you would. it have made it that far. 🙂
My sponsor text the above to me. I hate her. She’s always right.